So, is our list REALLY the final and
definitive list of the top ten sexual fantasies for men and women?
Well, it's probably as definitive as it can be, but we realize that even
with all of our efforts, there are still some flaws and margins for
error, and we realize that some of the fantasies are pretty vague.
'Being an exhibitionist' can mean anything from a woman quickly flashing
a boob in the park where the nearest person is a quarter of a mile away,
to lifting her shirt and exposing her naked breasts in a crowd of
people. Additionally, 'Being sexually dominated' can mean different
things to different people as well, from having your wrists held during
sex, to being blindfolded and bound to the basement rafters while your
lover has their way with you, to being a fully submissive slave forced
to crawl across the floor on their hands and knees and obey their
Masters every command.
Deciphering the Information
It's important to understand how when we compiled our information. Out
of the hundreds of surveys we gathered it's obvious that the men's
number one fantasy about a 'fantasy involving his current partner'
wasn't number one every time, but it was number one more than any other
men's fantasy.
The same applies to the number two men's fantasy about 'sex anywhere but
the bedroom.' It may have been number one on some surveys, and number
four on others, but it appeared as the number one fantasy more than any
other fantasy except 'fantasies about his current partner', so it came
in at number two overall.
Interesting Observation
As we looked through the articles, surveys, polls, top ten lists of
sexual fantasies and started to compile the information, we noticed
something interesting:
Most of the women's fantasies were pretty much the same, but they ranged
from the same fantasy (such a the rape fantasy) being ranked everywhere
from number one to number ten depending on which article we read or
which top ten list we reviewed.
On the men's side, most of the sexual fantasies were also the same, but
they were pretty consistent in the order they appeared. Fantasies with a
current partner may have appeared as the second or third most popular
men's fantasy in some surveys, but it seldom appeared lower than that.
This tends to make us think that the number one fantasy for women will
vary from woman to woman, but most men have the same or similar most
popular fantasies.
Flaws and Margins for Error in any Survey about Sex
We quickly realized that there were three major flaws in our work, and
everyone else's.
The first flaw is the fact that regardless of our efforts to
include surveys on sexual fantasies from the most diverse sources we
could find, a survey on sexual fantasies is doubtful to appear in a home
and garden magazine, an outdoor adventure magazine, or a financial
publication. We have found some brief articles and information in
publications such as TIME, but these types of surveys are usually
present in more adult or sexually oriented publications. Because of
this, the people answering these surveys are generally more open minded
sexually than those that would blush with embarrassment or disgust if
such a publication were ever discovered in their home, and would NEVER
read, let alone take such a survey in the first place, whether their
identity is kept confidential or not. But even the type of person that
would NEVER take a poll or survey about sexual fantasies is still human,
and being human, that person still has sexual fantasies. Because of this
there will always be a segment of the population whose sexual fantasies
will remain a secret. One can only speculate what such a person's
fantasies might be, and how their input would affect the results.
So even though we have searched out every survey on sexual fantasies we
could find, it's safe to say that the compiled data still reflects a
certain demographic of men and women... namely those that would be
wiling to take such a survey in the first place.
The second flaw is in the details. Every poll and survey wasn't
conducted in person. Many were conducted through a 'write in your number
one sexual fantasy' format, and others were done online with multiple
choice answers. Each of these methods have their advantages, and their
disadvantages.
An 'in person interview' will allow for more discussion and
clarification of what a particular fantasy entails, but limits the
number of participants.
A 'write in your fantasy' format lets the person responding express
themselves in some detail, but if a person writes in that "having
someone else take charge" is their number one sexual fantasy, does that
mean having a woman be more forceful and take charge, a BDSM Master and
slave relationship, or a forced sex fantasy? Also, does 'someone else'
mean their spouse or current lover, or a stranger? Unless the person
writing in is specific, too much information is left open to
interpretation.
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