Men's & Women's Sexual Fantasies 1. Sexual Fantasies: Introduction 2. Women's Top 10 Sexual Fantasies 3. Men's Top 10 Sexual Fantasies 4. Are these really the definitive top 10? 5. Are these really the definitive... (cont.) 6. About the Women's #1 Fantasy 7. About the Women's #1 Fantasy (cont.) 8. About the Men's #1 Fantasy 9. About the Men's #1 Fantasy (cont.) 10. Role Play - Crossing Over to Reality

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Many fantasies may not be practical or possible to actually play out, and playing out a fantasy about a threesome or having sex in a public place may not be something some people are willing to try, but there is no reason a couple can't play out many of their fantasies together.  In fact, most sex therapists and other professionals agree that sexual role play is healthy for a relationship since it lets both partners explore their hidden desires, overcome their inhibitions with each other and can bring a couple closer together.

While many people never play out any of their fantasies, for some people playing out a fantasy can be very important, especially the ones that can be played out safely.  Playing out a sexual fantasy can be so important to some people that they can literally become obsessed with it. Playing out a fantasy can become the most important goal in their life, even more important to them than the relationship they are in. Ignoring a partner's fantasies or not being willing to participate and play out their fantasies with them can and has resulted in many men and women seeking out another person to play out their fantasies with. This usually leads to the inevitable break up or divorce.

It may not hurt to try to convince someone to play out one of your fantasies with you, but don't try to convince someone to play out one of theirs. You can offer to play out your partners fantasy with them, but a fantasy is not reality, and playing one out brings it from the world of imagination into the real world. In many ways this makes it part of reality, and since a persons fantasies can be a way for them to 'escape' from reality for a short period of time.  Some people prefer to leave it that way, but when given the opportunity, most people said the would like to play out a sexual fantasy.

Since the rape fantasy was the most popular fantasy among women, and satisfies the men's #1 fantasy about his current partner, it's the one we will look at and talk about how couples can play it out safely.

Get the Facts... and the Details
Sometimes it's best to let a fantasy run its course without discussing too many details, but sometimes a person's fantasy has a lot of details that they want to try and duplicate when playing out the fantasy.  A rape fantasy is usually very personal, and while some women simply get off on the idea of a man forcing her against a wall and reaching under her skirt to fondle her pussy, other women get into detail about what happens in their fantasy.  In the latter case, it's these details that can make a difference between the fantasy being a thrilling sexual experience, or a disappointment.

Before you start the fantasy, you need to know whether your partner wants the 'assault' to be fast and completely aggressive, or if she wants to be held prisoner and tortured for a while. If she chooses the latter, find out what her preference is, if any. She may want you to tease her nipples with a set of vibrating nipple clamps while using a vibrator on the rest of her body. If she's into pain, having her hair pulled, or being spanked, then you need to accommodate her and perform the acts she wants to make her fantasy the best it can be.

Talk about any other details she wants the fantasy to entail.  Do you yell at her and call her a slut and a whore?  Do you remain silent?  Do you whisper your demands in her ear?  Do you take her into the bedroom, force her to the living room floor, or throw her on the couch?  When the stranger takes her, does he tear all of her clothes off or just pull her skirt up or tear her blouse open and leave them on her?  Do you get naked, or do you just pull your pants down?  In the fantasy, what type of personality does the stranger have?  A rugged brute, a deranged maniac, or a sophisticated gentleman?  Whatever the stranger's personality is, that's the type of person you have to become.  In a way, this is a play, and the two of your are the actors, so hopefully your acting skills are good enough you can pull this off.

Do you yell at her or whisper?  Do you strip her naked or leave some of her clothes on?  How violent should you be?  Get the facts before you play out the fantasy.    Rope and cloth gags are cheap, but rope can cut off circulation to the extremities without realizing it, and a cloth gag can irritate the eyes, nose, mouth and lungs, and can cause permanent injury or even death if inhaled.  Take a tip from the BDSM community and use quality blindfolds, ball gags and restraints when your fantasy involves any kind of bondage.   She knows it's you, but a leather or spandex slave mask can make the fantasy very intense   A good set of wrist restraints will let her fight as much as she wants without injuring herself, or you!   If you secure her arms behind her back make sure her body is supported so she can't fall.   Visit the Bondage section at Passions Unchained Sex Toys for Hoods, Blindfolds, Wrist Restraints & more.

A Good Play Needs Good Props
While simply 'attacking' her while she begs for mercy and resists is sufficient to play out the rape fantasy, most women that do want to play out a rape fantasy, or any other fantasy, want it to be part of an imaginary world rather than the every day world they live in.  Things like masks, costumes, and even something as simple as replacing a light bulb or two in your bedroom with black light bulbs and colored light bulbs can create a new environment. These kinds of 'props' add to the excitement of playing out the fantasy, and since playing out a fantasy is bringing it into the 'real world,' using props while playing out a fantasy can help create that special place somewhere between imagination and reality.

To play out a rape fantasy and help create that place between imagination and reality, we can turn to the Bondage world for some help with the props. After all, as we explained earlier a rape fantasy is actually a type of a BDSM or domination fantasy, but without the typical dungeon atmosphere or the whips and chains.

If you're not experienced in BDSM, Bondage play or using restraints already, then we offer you the same warning we give our customers that are into BDSM:

1. A unique 'safe word' that really means STOP needs to be established so there is no doubt whatsoever that her cries for mercy or her protests aren't real. The safe word needs to be something unique like 'Enough' or 'Mercy', or even better, something completely off the wall like 'Purple Unicorn' or 'Pencil Sharpener' so there is no chance it will be spoken by mistake, and no chance it will be misunderstood if she does say it.

If you're not familiar with using a safe word in any kind of sex play, understand that when the safe word is spoken, it means STOP RIGHT NOW, no arguments, no questions asked.  You can discuss it afterwards, but you stop whatever you are doing IMMEDIATELY and back off!

2. NEVER make or use home made bondage gear. There have been cases of permanent damage and even death resulting from the use of homemade bondage gear!

3. DON'T use regular cotton rope or neckties!  Knots can tighten to the point they can't be untied and have to be cut, and they can cut off the circulation to the hands and/or feet, possibly causing permanent damage to a persons hands or feet. NEVER use any kind of rope on a persons neck!

4. DON'T use scarves or neck ties as blindfolds or gags. The dyes and the material these items are made of can irritate and injure the eyes, nose, throat and lungs!

5. NEVER use a a knife or a regular pair of scissors to cut rope or clothing off of a person!
While a knife or regular scissors will provide the feel of cold, hard steel against her skin and add to the 'kink factor' of the fantasy when cutting her clothes off of her, it will also add to the 'danger of injuring her factor'. Instead, a pair of steel Surgical Style Safety Scissors (like the ones used to cut bondage ropes and tape) will offer the feeling of cold, hard steel against her skin without the risk of poking, puncturing, or cutting her flesh. These medical Scissors, or EMT Shears, are used for rope bondage and shibari play. The blunt tips won't scratch or cut her skin, but will cut through layers of rope as easily as they cut through clothing or bandages, which is what they were designed for.

Bondage is about teasing and pleasurable pain, NOT inflicting permanent injury! Invest in quality BDSM products rather than risk injuring yourself or the one you love.

Bondage restraints are not only designed to let a person fight and struggle against the restraints as much as they want without having the restraints break, most are designed with the comfort of the captive in mind, and they are also designed for safety. Wrist and ankle cuffs can't tighten like ropes, bondage tape doesn't stick to the skin like making tape or duct tape, and spreader bars will hold a woman's (or man's) legs open without having to secure their ankles to a fixed object like the footboard of a bed.

A few props like a Full Face Hood (also known as a slave mask) can add to the 'mystery man' part of the fantasy.  She knows it's her husband or lover, but not being able to see his face can make the fantasy even more exciting for her. If the thought of not being able to see what you're doing excites her more than watching you, then the obvious option is to place a Blindfold or slave mask without eye holes on her instead.  If you're aren't familiar with a slave mask, they are similar to a ski mask, but are available in leather and spandex so you don't have to worry about the fuzz you get in your mouth, nose and eyes from a ski mask. Just make sure to get one with eye and mouth holes if you're going to be the one wearing it.  Click Here for the Bondage section of Passions Unchained Sex Toys the to see examples of slave masks.

Since the fantasy usually involves some type of restraint, a set of Handcuffs or Leather Bondage Cuffs would be a good prop to use. If you don't already play out bondage fantasies, and have never used restraints in the past, then they will add even more excitement to the fantasy since they are something new.

Handcuffs are a good choice since they can be unlocked quickly, but a set of Bondage Cuffs are recommended. They aren't as harsh against the skin as hand cuffs, they can't tighten up by mistake, and they will not cut into her wrists regardless of how hard she pulls against them. They are also easy to attach to a bed post or bed frame, and the latch can be removed quickly to change positions without having to remove the cuffs.

Be careful if you secure her arms behind her back. She has no way to support herself if she's on her knees or laying face down, and she will be very uncomfortable if she's on her back. It's best to use two sets of handcuffs or a set of bondage cuffs and attach her wrists to the headboard of your bed. If finding a place to secure a set of handcuffs or bondage cuffs is an issue, Under the Bed Restraints or Bondage Bed Sheets are another option. These require no attaching points such a headboard or footboard, and will work with any bed.

Bondage Tape & Bondage Rope are also an option, but use caution unless you are experienced with using them already. It's difficult to tie a knot in rope designed for bondage that can't be untied easily, but you can still cut off circulation if you try and get the rope too tight. Bondage tape is a good choice since it doesn't stick to the skin like duct tape or masking tape, but some people don't like the feel of it, and still prefer the ease and comfort of the Leather Bondage Cuffs.

No matter how you bind her wrists, to let her fight you as hard as she wants without risking injury to either of you, you also need to bind her ankles. You can use ankle cuffs in conjunction with wrist cuffs, under the bed restraints or bondage bed sheets, or you can use a Spreader Bar. The bar holds her legs open offering you full and easy access to her tender inner thighs, and of course, to her vagina without having to attach ankle cuffs to the footboard of your bed, and you can easily move her around into different positions while her legs are still held open. Another advantage to using a spreader bar is that you can secure her in a standing position and still have her legs held open. 

Her fantasy may not even involve being secured to the bed. She may want to be held in a standing position as you take her. While holding her arms against the wall with one hand while you use the other hand to ravage her body may work, it's much easier and usually more effective if you can use restraints to secure her in a standing position. This not only frees both of your hands and makes it easier to take her, but it lets her fight against the restrains as hard as she wants without being able to free herself.  Unless you already have a bondage room with wall hooks set deep into a stud, a Saint Andrews Cross, a sex swing stand (these work great for securing someone in a standing position), or some other form of secure wall restraint system in place, you will want to invest in a set of Door Jam Cuffs. These will allow you to restrain her in a standing position against a door rather than drilling holes through your walls to install eye bolts strong enough to prevent her from pulling them out.  You can find spreader bars and door jam cuffs in the bondage section at Passions Unchained Sex Toys. Click Here for the Bondage section of Passions Unchained Sex Toys.

The rape fantasy usually involves tearing her clothes off, and if you haven't tried tearing her clothes off recently, you may be surprised at just how tough a fabric cotton and silk can be. Not only may you find yourself struggling to actually tear the material, but your tugging and pulling against her clothes may injure her in the process. A button up blouse for her would be a good option since it is easy to tear open, but you will still have the sleeves to contend with. Her bra should have a front clasp so you can open it and fully expose her breasts without having the bra in your way, and a pair of panties that tie on the sides are the easiest to remove while she is restrained or 'struggling' against you.

 

Pants are definitely a problem, especially jeans, so a short skirt is the best way to go. The skirt should either be a wrap around style or have a zipper on the side as this provides an easy starting point to tear the rest of the material rather than just slipping it off of her. A short skirt also makes it easy to pin her arms against the wall with one hand while reaching between her legs to fondle her vagina with the other before tearing the skirt off.

If cutting or tearing her clothes off is a must (and we recommend it as it does take the tension of the fantasy to a higher level than simply removing her clothes), use the bondage scissors we mentioned in the warning above.  Bondage scissors or EMT shears are available in the bondage section at Passions Unchained Sex Toys.  Click Here for the Bondage section of Passions Unchained Sex Toys.

Many of the rape fantasies either involve the man carrying the woman off to her bedroom, or forcing her to the floor or couch and quickly getting down to business, but a lot of the women's fantasies involve an extended amount of teasing and torture.

By torture, we don't necessarily mean whips or spankings (although those are also a popular part of the fantasy for some women).

Torture can include any number of things from the man tickling her to teasing every inch of her body mercilessly with a sex toy like a Vibrator. Some women prefer the torture to be Feathers or Ticklers, others wanted her partner to use Hot Candle Wax, and some women wanted a combination of items used on their skin.

If using hot candle wax, we recommend using a Massage Oil Candle. The 'candle' is actually massage oil that liquefies when heated, and the massage oil doesn't burn the skin like candle wax can. If you insist on using an actual candle, then it's best to use a plain, white, un-scented candle, as the color pigments and scents hold more heat than plain white wax. Unfortunately, two different candles from the same box can hold different amounts of heat, so a few drips from one candle might be pleasurable, but a few drips from another identical candle may cause severe pain, blisters, and even third degree burns. Unless she's enjoys a lot of pain, this one small mistake could completely destroy the fantasy, and the possibility of playing out any future fantasies.

Men, whether you think the fantasy would be better if you took her instantly, or made it an all day event by holding her hostage and torturing her mercilessly, you need to remember that while you will probably enjoy the fantasy as much as she does, the rape fantasy is hers. It's the number one sexual fantasy for women, so while asking questions and making suggestions before you play out the fantasy is always a good idea, when it comes down to it, you need to put your own preferences aside and make sure you play your part EXACTLY the way she wants you to.

After all, you wouldn't want her returning the favor later by dressing up and playing out your naughty school girl fantasy, and then not playing her part by not acting the way you want her to.

 

Combining Women's and Men's Other Fantasies
Since men's top fantasy is a fantasy involving their current partner, playing out the woman's rape fantasy also satisfies the men's top fantasy, and the women's #4 fantasy involving her current partner.

But role playing can satisfy other fantasies as well.

Talk to each other about your fantasies. If your wife/girlfriend does want to play out a rape fantasy, and also fantasizes about being a high priced call girl (#7 for women), rather than being an innocent woman at home attacked by a stranger that comes to the door, she can be the one that comes to the door to provide services, then find her client is more violent than she was expecting.

Another option could be that she's a school girl (#6 for men) home alone when the stranger comes to the door and attacks her.

Forced anal and oral sex with their female partner (#9 and #10 respectively for men) is an option, but obviously she will have to agree to include one or both of these in the fantasy.

If you're both willing to experiment some, you can include a third person. Sex with another women is #9 for women, and a threesome with two women is #4 for men. Having a man and a strange woman attack your female partner is extremely kinky, and having another woman helping you not only makes it easier to overcome and restrain your wife/girlfriend, there are more possibilities for kinky three way sex.

If neither of you have a VERY close female friend that would be willing to participate in your fantasy, or you would never dare ask one of them, there are a lot of women on the adult dating sites that enjoy participating in fantasies with couples. This can be a safe way to satisfy your three way fantasy without risking the chance of rejection, embarrassment, and possibly being the subject of neighborhood gossip from asking a female friend.

One word of caution. Mixing fantasies tend to work better for couples that are more experienced in fantasy role playing rather than couples that are taking their first or second shot at it.  Sometimes other fantasies can cause the role play to stray too far from the original fantasy, so don't insist on it if you or your current partner are new to role playing.

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