Ryan Keely

In her “Porn Star Sex Life” workshops, Penthouse pet and porn star Ryan Keely has been teaching guys the dos and don’ts of keeping women satisfied in the bedroom.  But sex is a two-person game, so Ryan gives her opinion about what five things women should  do.

1. Revisit an old fave: “Bring back the hand job!” says Ryan. “There’s nothing so amazing as really handling your partner’s bits.”  While a lot of women left the hand job behind with high school graduation, it’s a fun way to spice up the bedroom menu.  “You don’t always have time or energy for sex, and blow jobs are really taxing,” she says. “This is a great way to give pleasure to your partner.”


2. Learn from the master: What better way to understand what makes your man happy than to watch him pleasure himself?  “If you can get your partner to touch himself while you watch, you can really get a great insight into what he likes,” she says. “Some people are a little shy, but it can be a very beautiful way to learn.”  And of course that goes both ways. Your guy will most likely want to watch your solo show, as well.

3. Reach around: Ryan’s new favorite trick is to rub a partner’s penis while having sex.  “If I’m on my back in missionary position, I reach under my a*& between my legs and I like to rub the base of his penis—the area that runs from his sphincter to the back of his balls,” she says. “As he’s penetrating you, you’re playing with the part of his penis not inside you. It feels great.”  And busy women take note: “If you’re in a hurry it’s a great way to make him come faster.”

4. Ask away: If there’s something you want to try, don’t be shy.  “Women need to understand that just her bringing it up is a huge turn-on for most men,” says Ryan. “Men think about sex all the time, they come to my seminars to try to learn what women want, so they’re thrilled to discuss it.”  Do keep in mind that timing is everything, so don’t spring it on him after a long day at work. And reassuring your man first is always a good idea; don’t make it sound like there’s something missing.  “Be supportive and friendly,” she says. “Something like, ‘Our sex life is really great and there’s something I’ve been thinking about that might be fun.’”

5. Get comfortable in the buff: “I recommend that every woman spend some time naked,” says Ryan. “Even if it’s just laying in your own bed watching TV fully nude. It’s a really freeing experience.” And of course, naked with a partner is even better.  “Your partner will find it incredibly erotic that you’re comfortable with your body,” she says. “A lot of times we wear clothes to cover what we feel are imperfections, but the truth is your guy isn’t seeing those dimples on your butt, he’s just excited to see your butt.”

Angela Aspen

With a self proclaimed brand that is "very badass", preacher's daughter and former youth minister turned porn star Angela Aspen has these pointers for better sex.

1. Tease Him!:  What’s the rush? Sex isn’t just about intercourse.  As porn star and former youth pastor Angela Aspen says, “Foreplay is an extremely big part of seduction. You’ll see on porn that there are a lot of teasers.” Ease your way into the act by grazing his belly with your nipples, lightly kissing his inner thighs, or better yet, his penis while his underwear’s still on. Make him want you to the point of torture.  Very slowly, stroke your entire body while maintaining eye contact. “Caress your arms, chest, legs and hips, telling the story with your hands and body before you even touch each other,” says Aspen.

2. Pleasure Yourself While He Watches:  Sure, men love intercourse, but watching a woman masturbate can be a big turn-on too! Remember, it’s all about visual stimulation. “I would definitely encourage girls to do it,” says Aspen. “I try to think of as many positions as I can while masturbating: regular sex positions, minus the man.” You can masturbate while he watches, or you can masturbate simultaneously.

3. Masturbate: How can you become better at making love to him if you have hang-ups about making love to yourself?  "If you don't make love to yourself," says Aspen, who notes that she does "a ton" of masturbating herself, "then who's going to make love to you? Look, your pussy is like a Bentley. If you leave it sitting in the garage all the time, it's not going to want to start when you want to take it for a drive."

4. Understand that Men and Women View Porn Differently: "You know, people are working porn into their sex lives, and the plots you see in feature films kind of reach out to women," she says. "And it's a lot more work to reach out to females than males - you have to entice them, the soft lighting, the special effects, it's erotic. Men just want to see penetration and get off. Women want to be seduced." Plus, she adds, there's always the novelty. "It's like, 'yeah, I'd love to see Catwoman get fucked in the ass.'"

Candida Royalle

The pioneer of women's adult erotic movies and author of "How to Tell a Naked Man What to Do" gives us her tips for better sex.

1. Don't Become a One-Trick Pony:  Don't use the same moves in bed over and over.  Even if you think you know your man well, his tastes might change. What he wants one day might be different a week later. What works for one guy won’t necessarily work for the next, which is why porn stars monitor their partner’s reactions. “Using a great technique for, say, fellatio, may thrill one guy but turn off another,” says porn star Candida Royalle.

2. Give Praise Where It's Due:  Don't be shy when it comes to talking about sex, and tell him when he’s being a good lover. When your partner is making you happy in bed, don’t keep it to yourself! A little affirmation will go a long way toward making him feel like he’s fulfilling his role as a lover. "For men, the biggest fear is that they’re inadequate in bed," says Royalle. Just be yourself, and don’t feel as though you need to talk extra-dirty like a porn star.  Offer down-to-earth feedback that sets the mood. “That feels really good,” “I love how you’re doing that,” or “That drives me wild.” When you feel it’s getting hotter, get even naughtier: “You make me so wet,” or “I love when you’re deep inside me.” As he’s finishing don’t be afraid to order him around with, “Don’t stop, harder!”, “Faster!” or “Give it to me!”

3. There's No Such Thing as 'Normal':  When it comes to sex, don't refrain from trying anything that seems weird or abnormal.  Start thinking of “normal” as a relative term. “Women don’t want to feel judged or thought of as ‘weird’ or ‘abnormal,’” says Royalle. “It often is tied in to being afraid of coming off as too experienced.” But once you let go of preconceptions and redefine “normal,” new horizons will open up in your sex life.  If you want to try something new but are too nervous to take the first step, bring it up in a casual way. “Ask him, ‘What would you think of me if I did something like this?’” says Royalle. Who knows? He might feel excited about it too and then you can venture into new territory together.