Adult Content:

Our Other Sites:

www.PassionsUnchained.org:

If If you're looking for a guide that will take you step by step through every possible oral sex technique, you're going to be doing a LOT of searching
(Google returned 26,800,000 results at the time we wrote this), and a LOT of reading, only to find out no such thing exists. Our goal was to create a short,
easy to remember guide that teaches you HOW to learn better oral sex techniques that you could remember rather than write an encyclopedia of oral sex.

Why isn't there a book or a guide I can read that will teach me all the different tips and tricks there are to performing oral sex so I can just learn them and drive my lover wild when I do it?

We asked ourselves that question when we started this section, and we figured as kinky as some of our staff is, if anyone could come up with one, we could.  After all, we knew the two biggest complaints men and women have, and the basics are simple enough, so all we needed to do was tell men to slow down and convince more women to do it. After that, we just needed to add all of the different positions and the different tips, techniques and variations. It seemed possible.

We decided to get a few men and women together and have them tell us specifically the unique things they liked their partner to do when they were on the receiving end of oral sex. We figured with a dozen or so men and women, we could come up with at least two or three different tips and tricks to get some main categories outlined, and then we'd interview as many other men and women as necessary to nail down all of the best ways to perform oral sex.

So with a pen and notepad in hand to take a few notes, we called some of our staff together and set out to put together the most comprehensive guide to oral sex we could.

It didn't take us long to figure out that our little notepad wasn't going to be sufficient. Rather than getting the two or three different tips we were hoping for, we ended up with thirty or forty, and that was while we were just getting started!

Some women liked to have the outer lips licked first, some liked to be tongue fucked, and some liked it when a man flicked his tongue over their clit. Some men liked to be deep throated, some liked just the tip sucked and the shaft stroked, and one liked it when a women would drag her teeth along his shaft and bite down on the head while squeezing his balls as hard as she could (this one made the other men cross their legs and cringe). With the wide variety of information we were getting in this small setting, we could see that the information we would get interviewing an additional 500 or so women and men would be overwhelming!

It didn't take long to realize that for us, or anyone to try to put together a realistic, comprehensive guide to oral sex would not only be a daunting task, but it would be so long (and probably so boring), it would take people weeks, if not months to read. People that did bother to read is would have to memorize thousands of different tips and techniques, or put their computer next to their bed and keep stopping to scroll down to read the next tip.

This wasn't what we wanted.

It was time for us to go to our files and do some research. We realized that if you're looking for a comprehensive guide to oral sex, there are dozens of books, and thousands of websites about oral sex, in fact Google returned 26,800,000 results at the time we wrote this article, but before you get frustrated and keep searching the web, you might want to know that what we've just said isn't actually anything new, and it's not just our opinion:

"Contrary to common belief, and many women's expectations, cunnilingus is not a natural skill that every man and lesbian is born with. Cunnilingus is a learned skill. If you do not take the time to teach or learn this skill, you will never fully enjoy the benefits. Every woman is different, so no matter how good someone was at giving a woman oral pleasure in the past, they still need to relearn their technique if they change partners. Women cannot compare notes tit for tat as they are never exactly the same in likes and dislikes. There are physical and psychological reasons for this. While everyone would like to read a detailed "How-To-Guide," there is no way of creating one that is accurate for all women. At most, one can only give ideas and basic hints. Finding and reading women's first hand accounts is perhaps the best way to get new ideas, but the individual woman is the only one who can tell you what is enjoyable for her and works best." From the book Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving by Betty Dodson. Copyright 1987, 1983, 1974

If you're looking for an all-inclusive guide that will take you step by step through every possible oral sex technique and list every possible option, you're going to be doing a lot of searching, and a lot of reading. Our goal was to create a very short, easy to remember guide that teaches you HOW to learn better oral sex techniques rather than write an encyclopedia of oral sex.

It also didn't take us long to realize that the 'basics' weren't so basic after all. While there may not be a different preferred technique for every person on the planet, it was obvious that each person had their own preferences when it came to their partner going down on them, and these preferences were sometimes opposite of one another which would make it impossible to do a step by step guide for performing oral sex that suited everyone. For example, one woman wanted a man to bring her to an orgasm by using his fingers to stimulate her G Spot while sucking on her clit, and another hated it when the oral pleasures were disrupted by the intrusion of a finger. She liked her lover to bring her off by using their top lip to rub her clit while sucking her pussy lips deep into their mouth and sliding their tongue up and down between them. One man liked his wife to grab his ass and make him cum by deep throating him, but another received more satisfaction when a woman would suck on the head while stroking the shaft hard and fast with her hand.

Are gay men and lesbian women better at oral sex?

When it was pointed out a man should best know how to satisfy a man and a woman should best know how to satisfy a woman, and we would probably get more consistent feedback when talked to gay and lesbian groups, that made sense until the bisexual members of our little 'think tank' made it clear that this wasn't necessarily true. One woman (we'll call her Betty) said it was easier to get a man to do the things she liked rather than a woman. We asked her to elaborate:

Betty explained that just because it's two women performing cunnilingus on each other doesn't mean they're going to like the same things. She went on to explain that she likes having her pussy eaten soft and slow, and that another woman she knows (who we'll call Karen) enjoys having her pussy eaten in a more aggressive manner. Betty explained that when Karen went down on her, Karen knew Betty liked being eaten slowly and having her clit sucked, and this is what Karen started out doing. But as things began to get more heated up and Karen became more sexually aroused, her knowledge of what felt good to her and made her cum took over, and she started pushing her face against Betty's pussy hard while tongue fucking her. Betty went on to explain that when it was her turn to go down on Karen, she had a hard time being as aggressive as Karen wanted her to because it was hard for her to get her mind set on the fact that making tender love to Karen's clit, which is what Betty enjoyed having done to her, wasn't what Karen liked, and she kept telling Betty to eat her pussy harder.

Of course, the same situation applies to men, and the members of our little group that had been with multiple partners of the same gender agreed that it can be a lot harder to perform oral sex on a partner of the same sex if they like having something done to them that you don't like, and visa versa. Although our group was small an by no means represents a large percentage of bi sexual people, any part of the gay or lesbian community (some people were bisexual, but none were strictly same sex oriented), the general consensus was that compatibility between members of the same sex can become an issue, and if they couldn't relate what feels good to them to the things that feel good to their partner, it was usually easier to get a member of the opposite sex to do the things you liked orally than someone of the same gender.

If that doesn't make sense to you yet, it's like the fact that it's usually easier to train someone how to do a job if they've never done it before than it is to take someone that's been doing a job one way for years and re-train them do it differently. When people get use to doing things a certain way, it's not always easy to get them to change.

So why are we telling you all of this?

To demonstrate the point than when it comes to satisfying a man or woman orally, short of writing a dictionary, there is no single set of instructions or tips that will satisfy everyone. One man's idea of a great blowjob, such as having the head of your dick bitten while your balls are being squeezed into oatmeal, is another man's worst nightmare, and as we've already demonstrated, a woman who enjoys having her pussy made love to gently isn't going to like it when someone attacks it furiously.

Since it was obvious we couldn't come up with a short, easy to remember guide for giving head like we did for having anal sex, or even list a set of tips for giving good head that would cover everyone's likes and dislikes (that would turn into a massive website in itself, considering it took us half a page just to explain why we couldn't do it), rather than abandon the whole idea of including a section on oral sex, we decided it was time for us to take a step back and rethink what needed to be said here.

A Prelude to Learning How to Give and Receive Better Oral Sex.

As we've already seen, good oral sex is a very complicated issue because good oral sex is not the same thing for everyone.

Since there were so many different things people liked and didn't like when receiving oral sex, it was obvious that communication was mandatory, but we knew that giving your partner instructions during oral sex can sometimes kill the mood, and make some people defensive.

The first thing we had to do was figure out the best way for someone to give their partner instructions.

Just like vaginal and anal sex, telling your partner what does and doesn't feel good when they're performing oral sex on you is essential for it to be satisfying, and probably more so when performing oral sex, but a lot of men and women who have satisfied previous partners orally may take pride in the fact they were able to do so without any instruction, and they may think you're complaining about the job they're doing. This can be VERY bad when it happens, so don't chance it.
Rather than wait until you're in the middle of your partner performing cunnilingus or fellatio on you, you and your partner need to sit down first and talk about experimenting with different techniques.
Don't start off with the words 'We need to talk.' Men have a tendency to immediately start thinking about all of the possible negative things you want to talk about, so you're already starting out with a negative attitude on his part. This is true for some women as well.

A good way to approach a conversation about oral sex, or any sex for that matter, might be to say something like "Honey, I love the way you make love to my pussy, but I want to know some of the things you think would be nice for me try when I suck your cock". Of course, if you're a man initiating the conversation with a woman, you would switch the body parts in that sentence.

Ladies, some men are a little hard to talk to. If that's the case with your man, here's a little insight for you: Most men fear criticism, and whether they believe they are sparing your feelings, or they fear retaliation, when given the choice of telling you that you give the word's greatest blowjob, or telling you that you suck at giving head (pardon the pun), he's going to opt for the compliment, so avoid words like 'if' or 'should' when trying to start a conversation about oral sex.
If you ask your partner "Is there anything I should be doing differently when I give you a blowjob?" or "I want to know if there's anything I can do better when I suck your cock." He will probably say "No, you're wonderful at it. You don't need to change a thing."
Just like everything else in life, all men and women are different, but there are probably a lot more women reading this can identify with what we just said than there are ones that can't understand why we would say such a thing.

Once you talk about trying new oral sex techniques, you will have to set aside the time to actually try them and talk about them.

This means that you will have to have at least one oral session, if not more, that is a little more 'clinical' than usual where your partner tries the different techniques and you tell them which ones you like the most, the ones you like the least, and the ones you don't like at all.  Of course, you will have to switch from the one getting oral sex to the one giving it, and your partner will have to provide you with feedback about what they do and don't like as well.

You may know what you do like, but it's just as important to know what you don't like!

While you may think you give the world's greatest head, and maybe you had a previous partner or two that would go wild when you went down on them, you have to remember what we said about different people liking different things. Your previous partners may have loved the way you attacked their genitals aggressively, but your current partner may find that more annoying than satisfying, and they're either too nervous, or too polite to say anything.

Another situation may be that you or your current partner, or both, haven't had a lot of previous experience with oral sex. Maybe what you're doing to one another may feel nice, but it isn't incredible and you don't see what the big deal is about oral sex. By taking the time to go step by step from the least aggressive moves to the most aggressive ones, or somewhere in between, you may both figure out why oral sex is such a big deal to so many people.

Knowing what causes pleasure and pain.

It's a little ironic when one man calls another man a pussy, insinuating he's weak or soft, and saying someone that is brave or daring has balls, because a woman's pussy is usually a lot tougher than a man's balls. We know this doesn't hold true for everyone, but most women enjoy having their pussy spanked, and pretty aggressively at that, but while the shaft of most dicks are pretty tough and can handle being smacked around, not all men can handle having their balls squeezed.

While the pussy's clit and the head of the cock have the most nerve endings, we're not going to discuss the nerve density of the different areas of the pussy or cock. Suffice it to say there are enough nerve endings in every inch of the body to create a pleasurable sensation no matter where you concentrate your efforts, this includes the outer lips of the pussy and along the shaft of the cock.

If you've been with your partner for any length of time, you probably know how aggressive you can be, so don't try any of the aggressive techniques if you already know the ones that will cause your partner pain.

If you only like aggressive oral sex, and you absolutely hate it when your partner goes slow, then there's no reason to get frustrated by trying some of the slow techniques. While everything here is pretty mild since as we explained, getting into exotic or extreme oral techniques here would be too much for what we're trying to achieve here, just skip around and check out some of the more aggressive techniques to see if there's any you might like to add your oral adventures.

We aren't going to list a step by step guide to better oral sex.

We've already made it clear that you don't want you to have to memorize a lot of exotic techniques or stop to read the next tip or step, and to be honest, to be able to give good head, you don't have to do either of these things.

By going through a few steps starting with the least intense moves, then progressing to the more intense ones, what to next will pretty much come naturally. So rather than try to memorize each section of our guide or even or print it out, just read through it and you'll see what we mean.

Remember, this isn't a guide to teach you what to do every time. It's a learning tool to help you discover what you do and don't want to do the next time.