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What's the difference between BDSM and Playful
Bondage?
Bondage, Light Bondage, Bondage Play, Playful Bondage,
Bondage & Discipline, B&D, S&M, BDSM, Sadism &
Masochism, D&s, Fetish... while many people group all of
these terms together, there are some major differences
between them. The
letters BDSM stand for "Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and
Masochism." By their very definitions, the terms
Discipline, Sadism and Masochism means there is some
aspect of pain and punishment, but bondage doesn't have
to include any kind of pain or discipline. Having
your wrists and ankles restrained before or during sex
is still bondage, but it doesn't mean you have to be
whipped, paddled, flogged or have pain inflicted in any
way.
The term 'Bondage' comes from the Anglo-Norman Middle
English word bonde (serf) and literally means "The state
of one who is bound as a slave or serf". But the term
bondage has become so closely associated with sex that
dictionaries also include the definition of bondage as
"A sexual practice in which one partner is tied or
chained up". [1]
BDSM is a culture, or sub culture, and the BDSM
community has very strict rules when it comes to
disciplining or inflicting pain on a sub. Once
considered by psychiatrists as pathologic, the BDSM
culture and practices remains intertwined with
prejudices, clichés and stereotypes. Even today there
are some uninformed people who automatically associate
BDSM with witchcraft, the occult, and even devil
worship. They see a fictional movie on television about
a satanic cult that sacrifices a virgin bound to an
alter, then see a picture of a sub bound in a BDSM
scene, and automatically assume the two are connected.
Living out a dark fantasy can be fun, and it's true that
many of the bondage scenes do involve a dungeon or a
dark setting, but there's nothing 'evil', 'dark',
'satanic' or 'occult related' about it.
When the term Bondage & Discipline or the letters B&D
are used, it usually refers to BDSM, but some people
like to differentiate between the two because there are
no aspects of sadism or masochism involved [2]. When the
initials B&D are used there is typically some level of
pain involved as 'discipline'. Because of this, the
terms 'Bondage', 'Playful Bondage', 'Bondage Play', or
'Bondage Games' are often used instead of BDSM or B&D to
help describe bondage that doesn't involve pain.
While all of this may seem confusing, and unnecessary,
using terms like 'Playful Bondage' or 'Bondage Games'
make some people that are new to bondage feel more
comfortable talking about it.
Playful Bondage doesn't have to be as strict or defined.
The majority of people that integrate bondage into their
sex lives probably aren't that heavy into the BDSM
lifestyle, they just enjoy adding a little sense of
danger or anticipation in their sex life with a little
'playful bondage' as a way to increase sexual tension.
Pain or discipline is an option, and is usually limited
to spankings, mild flogging, the use of nipple clamps,
some nipple squeezing and tugging, and some mild pussy
whipping. Playful bondage is usually practiced between
couples that are in a long term or committed
relationship, so the safety rules are usually more
subjective and trust based.
While many people automatically relate being spanked or
whipped as discipline, this isn't necessarily the case.
Many people simply enjoy the sensation of being spanked
or whipped, and it's included in their bondage play as a
form of sexual stimulation rather than a form of
discipline. The term discipline can be very subjective
both in and out of the BDSM community, but especially
between couples. If you just enjoy a little pain in your
sexual fun, but not in the aspect of actually being
disciplined, the term doesn't have to be quite so
narrow. Discipline can be a light or heavy spanking just
for being a "Bad Girl' or "Bad Boy" with no specific
reason you were bad. It's just fun and doesn't require
the rules or control behavior of the BDSM community.
How common is BDSM or bondage
play?
Light or playful bondage as foreplay is actually more
common than most people might think, and it's a very
effective means of providing sexual stimulation and
sexual tension for both parties. Estimation on the
overall percentage of BDSM related sexual behavior
ranges from 5 to 25 percent, depending on the scientific
objectives. The 5% is probably more representative of
those heavily involved in the BDSM community, while the
25% would more than likely represent individuals or
couples that enjoy some form of light bondage or bondage
play in their relationship, or relationships if they
aren't in a monogamous relationship. [3]
The difference between BDSM and
Fetish
All too often people see the word fetish and
automatically associate it with BDSM. This is not the
case. While many people consider bondage to be a fetish,
there are dozens, if not hundreds of other fetishes.
A fetish, as it relates to sex, is defined as "
Something, such as a material object or a nonsexual part
of the body, that arouses sexual desire and may become
necessary for sexual gratification." [4] Common fetishes
are balloons, feet, stockings or pantyhose, vampires,
horror movies... or anything that is typically
considered 'non-sexual' that creates feelings of sexual
stimulation.
Calling bondage a fetish makes some people uncomfortable
with the whole idea of bondage, but there' no reason for
this type of apprehension. The reason bondage can be
defined as a fetish doesn't mean it's an illness of any
kind. It simply means under normal circumstances,
objects like handcuffs, paddles, rope, etc. are material
objects that aren't designed to cause or increase sexual
stimulation as opposed to objects like a vibrator, a
cock ring, nipple clamps or other sex toys that are
specifically designed to increase sexual pleasure. |
