Whip Flogger

While it's not necessary to have a full understanding of all the BDSM terms, when reading about bondage or shopping for bondage gear, it is helpful to understand that the superior partner is known as the Dom, Dominate, or Master (Male), Domme, Domina, Dominatrix or Mistress (Female), or Top (both genders).  The restrained or obedient partner is known as the sub, submissive, slave, or bottom.

Some people are always Dominant or submissive, while others enjoy playing both roles. These people are known as a 'switch' because they enjoy switching roles.

You may also notice that when reading about BDSM, in strict or formal BDSM language, the superior terms (Dom, Dominatrix, etc.) are ALWAYS capitalized, and the submissive terms (sub, slave, etc.) are NEVER capitalized. This is even true when using a persons name, such as Mistress Angela and her sub robert.


Other terminology, such as the terms 'Bondage Cuffs', 'Wrist Cuffs', 'Ankle Cuffs' or just 'Cuffs' can be confusing if you're not familiar with these items.  Many people that see the word 'Cuffs' instantly think of handcuffs.  But bondage cuffs aren't handcuffs.  They are cuffs made of leather, rubber, neoprene or other material.  Unlike handcuffs, once bondage cuffs are put on the wrists or ankles, they can't tighten up.  They are secured to the wrists or ankles loosely with a buckle, latch, Velcro or other method and have a steel ring attached to them.  This ring either has a quick release latch permanently attached to it, or a quick release latch can be attached to the ring.  The quick release latch is used to secure the cuffs to each other, to a chain, or to a fixed object.  Many bondage cuffs are padded and are comfortable enough to be worn all day.

Some people aren't familiar with floggers and confuse them with a whip.  Many people use the terms flogger, flogging, whip and whipping interchangeably, and even some of the manufacturers of bondage gear call a flogger a whip, but there is a difference.

Unlike a whip, a flogger has multiple strands of material such as leather, suede or deer skin that extends  from the handle.  These strands are usually a quarter of an inch or so wide and between one and two feet long.  A whip has their strands braided into one single strand and are up to six feet in length.  Being struck by a whip at full length can be painful and will easily break the skin.  While intense or hard flogging can be painful, the short length and multiple strands of material makes being struck by flogger less painful than being struck by a whip, and it takes a fairly hard blow from a flogger to break the skin.  There are even rubber floggers that allow very hard strikes against the skin that results in little to no pain.

If you're hesitant about being tied up, start out with just a blindfold and then move on to the restraints later.

Bondage cuffs with a quick release latch allows you to release your partner in a matter of seconds.  Bondage cuffs are the best way for beginners to get started.

A silk binding sash is a good option to rope since it can be tied easily and loosely with common slip knots and bows.

Use a ball gag instead of cloth.  There's no risk of fibers getting into the lungs, the cloth cutting into the edges of the mouth, or having to be tied tightly around a persons head to prevent it from coming off.

Never tie rope around a person's neck or use any kind of choker collar, such as the type used for dogs.  Use a slave collar designed for humans to guide them with or just to add some extra visual stimulation.

You can get a pair of wrist cuffs with metal rings and hogties with quick release latches for around $20 or $30 each.   Quick Release Latches   Japanese Silk Cuffs, Ball Gag, Rope Hogtie and Rope Chest Harness

. Look closely and you can see that even cotton bondage rope is braided, not twisted.  At around $10 for 30 feet, it's not much more expensive than common clothesline, and it's a lot safer.   Stainless Steel Safety Scissors At a cost of about $4 or $5, quality EMT style safety scissors aren't expensive.

Bondage tape is a No Stick tape that holds securely to itself, but is easily removed from the skin.  It is about the same price as bondage rope, but it is typically cut off rather than removed and used again.

I'm a Bondage Virgin, & I'm Hesitant About Being Restrained

Many people fantasize about playing a bondage game, but are hesitant to let someone tie them up.  This is understandable.  Even though it's a fantasy game, you are bound, helpless, and completely at the mercy of another person.  Because of this, even the mildest bondage play requires a lot of trust between partners.

Here's a few tips to get you started safely.

CHOOSE A SAFE WORD:
Agree on a safe word before you begin. This is something that the passive partner can say if they want the other person to stop.  A common safe word is 'enough' but you can use any word you want.  It can be good idea to make it something common but completely off the wall like 'Unicorn' or 'pencil sharpener' so there is absolutely no chance of saying it by accident, and NO CHANCE of it being misunderstood.

With a safe word the sub can feel secure that they can stop the bondage play at any time.  This will make them more comfortable being restrained, and they can get into the game and scream 'No', 'Stop', or beg you not to do something as much as they want without interrupting the game play by having to stop and ask if they are serious. 

If the person that is bound DOES use the safe word, no matter what you are doing, STOP IMMEDIATELY... NO DISCUSSIONS, NO QUESTIONS ASKED!

If the bound partner wants to be released at this point, then release them immediately. You can discuss things AFTER you stop and AFTER your partner has been released.


START WITH JUST A BLINDFOLD:
Many couples like to add some sexual tension and a sense of the unknown by blindfolding the sub. Whether it's the man or woman playing the sub, not knowing what's coming next can heighten your senses dramatically. A gentle touch of the tongue on the nipples always feels good, but it can be electrifying when you can't see it coming.

If one or both partners are curious about adding bondage to their sex lives, but hesitant about being completely restrained and helpless, start out by just blindfolding your partner without any type of restraints. You can put the blindfold on during foreplay, then remove it before having sex, or leave the blindfold on from foreplay through intercourse. 

DO NOT use a scarf as a blindfold. In addition to the problem of knots being hard or impossible to remove, silk scarves can irritate the eyes, as can the dyes used in both silk and cotton scarves.  Since scarves were not intended to be used as blindfolds, the dyes and materials manufacturers use to make scarves are not required to be safe for the eyes, and there is the possibility that injury to the eyes can result from using them. Blindfolds aren't that expensive, starting around $10 and going up in price from there, so you aren't going to go broke buying one.


USE BREAKABLE RESTRAINTS:
If being unable to escape is something your partner just can't deal with at first, start out by 'restraining' your partner with something that can easily be broken out of, such as paper streamers, or a very thin chain like the ones used to make necklaces for costume jewelry. The person being 'restrained' can easily break their bonds at any time. This can help many people that are curious but hesitant about bondage ease into it, then move up to handcuffs or other restraints once they are comfortable with the idea of being secured.


USE A SILK BINDING SASH:
If you're ready to move beyond breakable restraints, or breakable restraints are a little too tame, or too lame, you can use a silk binding sash.  While a silk binding sash can be used to create an elaborate body harness, it also has some advantages for beginners.  Knots can be tied loose enough for the person that is being restrained to pull out of them on their own.  This can make it much easier to get use to the feel of being tied up without using ropes.  The silk binding sash can later be used to restrain your partner more securely, or to create a body harness once they become comfortable playing out bondage games.


USE BONDAGE CUFFS:
Bondage cuffs are not handcuffs.  If you're not familiar with what bondage cuffs actually are, or how they work, read the section 'Cuffs versus Handcuffs'  below.  Bondage cuffs are comfortable enough to be worn all day.  This alone is enough to make some people feel safer using them, but the fact that the cuffs use a quick release latch to attach and remove them makes it quick and easy to release someone that is restrained.  Knowing they can be released from their restraints in a matter of seconds makes many people feel more comfortable when they first start playing out bondage fantasies.


USE A SLAVE COLLAR:
Having anything around your neck can be a scary sensation, especially rope.  You should never tie rope around the front of a person's neck.  While rope bondage does not typically involve tying anything around a persons neck, and it's seldom necessary to actually secure anyone's neck in a bondage fantasy, many couples enjoy using a collar and leash on the sub.  This can be used to simply lead the sub around, or to guide them to the areas of the body they are to perform oral sex on.  For many people, the collar is just part of the bondage outfit, like a corset or high heels and isn't actually used for anything but appearance to enhance the bondage fantasy.  Many people think about using a dog or a cat collar, but there are plenty of slave collars available that are made to fit a human's neck comfortably that are less expensive than a dog or cat collar.  If you're thinking about using a choker-chain style of dog collar, DON'T.  Whether you approve of using them on a dog or not, we shouldn't have to explain why using a choker chain on a human's neck is a bad idea.


USE A BALL GAG INSTEAD OF CLOTH:
Many people don't like the feel of a cloth gag so much they will agree to other restraints, but refuse to be gagged.  Having a cloth gag tied around their head can feel very restrictive, and many times it can create a fear of suffocating.  Using a ball gag can help eliminate these fears.  In addition to the risks of using a cloth gag, a ball gag doesn't have to be tied tightly around a persons head to stay in place like a cloth gag does.
DO NOT use a scarf as a gag. Just like the dyes and even the material can injure the eyes when using a scarf as a blindfold, silk scarves can irritate the lips.  They can also cause an allergic reaction and injury to lips and possibly the lungs as well. Like blindfolds, ball gags start around $10 and go up in price from there.   


TALK ABOUT THE RULES:
Once you're ready to move on past the paper or thin chains to real restraints and bondage play, talk about it beforehand.  Discuss what you plan to do. Lay out some ground rules and decide what will  and will not be allowed such as spanking, whipping, pinching, etc.

Even though the safety rules are usually more subjective and trust based between couples that are in a long term or committed relationship, it's important to understand that when rules and limits are established, these rules and limits are sacred and are NOT to be broken at any time during the game.  Breaking the rules even once can cause your partner to loose all trust in you, and they may never allow you to restrain them again.



Using Bondage Cuffs

As we mentioned above, when we use the terms 'cuffs', 'bondage cuffs', 'wrist cuffs' or 'ankle cuffs', we aren't referring to handcuffs. 

Bondage cuffs can be secured to each other or to a fixed object with quick release latches, but they can also be attached to other objects, such as a hogtie.

The hogtie contains four leather straps attached with a steel ring to form and X shape.  At the other end of the leather straps are medal D rings with quick release latches attached.  When wrist and ankle cuffs attach to the hogtie, the wrists and ankles are secured together via the hogtie.  Leather hogties usually come with quick release latches already in place for attaching wrist and ankle cuffs.  A hogtie can either be used in front or in back of the body.  While having sex with a person whose arms and legs are secured behind their back isn't very comfortable, or sometimes possible, oral sex is possible an the quick release latches let you quickly move the hogtie to the front of the body or remove it completely.  Leather hogties only cost about $20.

Some people prefer to use padlocks to attach the cuffs to a chain because it looks kinkier and adds an increased feeling of Dominance and submission to the bondage play, but a quick release latch is just as secure as a padlock and allows the cuffs to be removed from each other or the attaching point quickly and easily.  Since it's the latch or padlock and not the actual cuffs that are attached to a chain, eye bolt or other object, the cuffs themselves stay on when the person that is wearing them is moved to different locations or into different positions.

For people that have a rope fetish, or just prefer to use rope, there are some products available such as Japanese Silk Rope Cuffs for the wrists and ankles, Japanese Silk Rope Ball Gags, Rope Hogties, and pre-made Rope Chest Harnesses that you can loop bondage rope through.  While these products may not create as elaborate of an image that a man or woman secured in a bondage harness or in an elaborate series of ropes do, they do make rope bondage much quicker and easier.  Passions Unchained Sex Toys, Adam & Eve and Hustler Hollywood  all carry different rope cuffs.  Pre Made Rope Chest Harnesses and Hogties are available in the Bondage, Fetish and Kink section at Passions Unchained Sex Toys 


Bondage cuffs aren't that expensive

There is no doubt that bondage cuffs are more expensive than plain rope, and more expensive than bondage rope.  While some of the more professional wrist and ankle restraints can cost close to $100 a set, you can get a good pair of wrist or ankle cuffs for $20 to $30.

Other than the convenience of being able to move from one position to another quickly, there are other reasons many couples that enjoy adding bondage play to their sex life prefer to use bondage cuffs instead of rope;

• The Kink Factor:  Many people think that a set of cuffs look or feel more kinky than rope, especially leather cuffs.  For full body restraint, a set of leather cuffs and a leather hogtie is hard to beat when it comes to looking kinky.
• Comfort:  Cuffs, especially padded ones, are very comfortable.  You could wear a pair of wrist and ankle cuffs all day with no discomfort.  This is beneficial for couples that enjoy playing out a long fantasy where one of the partners is a 'slave' for most of the day.
• Safety:   Pulling against the restraints is half the fun.  A good pair of bondage cuffs aren't tight around the wrists or ankles and they can't tighten up, so the person being restrained can pull against the cuffs as hard as they want without the risk of cutting off the circulation to their hands or feet.

Possible Risks Involved with Rope Bondage

Some people think rope bondage is a good start for beginners, mainly because rope is inexpensive.  We disagree.  If you aren't that experienced with tying knots and hitches in rope, then you need to understand that there are some potential risks involved with using rope for bondage.

Many people prefer the feeling of being tied up with rope rather than using handcuffs or wrist restraints.  We don't have a problem with using rope.  What we do have a problem with is people using rope that aren't aware of the risks involved.  First timers and people that regularly experience high levels of endorphins during bondage play often fail to realize that they are in danger if the rope becomes too tight.


Regular Knots can Tighten Up
When you were a boy scout, if you were too busy trying to figure out ways to sneak across the lake and fuck the girl scouts rather than pay attention during knot tying class, then you you should probably take the time to learn how to tie knots and hitches in bondage rope so that it won't tighten up around your partners wrists or ankles when they pull on the ropes.

Feelings of Apprehension
Bondage rope and bondage tape can't be removed as quickly or easily as a set of cuffs.  As well as the issue of convenience, there is another factor to consider.  Rope and tape must be tight enough to prevent the sub from slipping their wrists and ankles out of the bonds.  Regardless of how much trust your partner has in you, it's human nature for most people to feel apprehensive when our wrists and ankles are bound, even if they've been tied up in a bondage role in the past.  When someone begins to feel uncomfortable and suddenly wants the restraints removed, they need to be removed as quickly as possible.  In the time it takes to untie or even cut ropes, feelings of apprehension can lead to panic.  If this happens, it's likely they will not participate in any bondage fantasies in the future.

Bondage Rope versus Other Rope
If you feel you must start out with rope instead of cuffs, don't use clothesline or plain cotton rope, no matter how much easier it is to tie knots in them.  Instead, use rope designed for bondage play.

People look at the bondage rope on a website and notice that in addition to Japanese silk and nylon, there is also bondage rope made out of cotton and wonder why we warn against cotton rope. We don't. We warn against 'plain cotton rope' like clothes line or rope you can buy at a hardware store.

If you look close at rope made for bondage you will notice that it's 'braided', not 'twisted' like regular rope. This helps prevent it from tightening up around a persons wrists or ankles like twisted rope can.  When you pull on bondage rope, you will feel how the loose braiding allows it to give or stretch a little.  You can still tie it tight enough to restrain a person while reducing the risk of cutting off the circulation to the extremities.  You will probably have to buy bondage rope on an adult website, and yes, it is more expensive than twisted rope you get at the hardware store, but it's worth it to reduce the risk of injury.  If you see rope being sold as bondage rope that is twisted rather than braided, we suggest moving on to a better quality of rope.    Any material that requires knots to secure it still has risks, so use caution.

Never use clothes line
While this may look like bondage rope, clothes line is usually cotton rope that is twisted or tightly braided so that it does not stretch.  If it stretched, your clothes would end up on the ground when you hang them out to dry.  Bondage rope has a loose braid that allows it to stretch.

Keep a pair of Bondage scissors handy to cut ropes or tape. 
Whether your partner begins to feel apprehensive and wants to be released quickly, knots become too tight to untie, circulation becomes too restricted, or it's just kinkier to cut your slave loose from their bonds, sometimes it becomes necessary to cut rope.

DO NOT use regular scissors with pointed tips, and NEVER use a knife to cut rope or tape off of a person!  The reasons for this should be obvious.  If they aren't and you end up cutting or puncturing your partners skin, then the reasons can become painfully obvious very fast.  Bondage Scissors are the ONLY type of scissors to use.  These are the same kind of scissors used by EMTs and other medical professionals to cut clothing or bandages off of a person quickly with little to no risk to the skin. They will cut through bondage rope or tape like a hot knife through butter without cutting or puncturing the skin.

If you are going to use rope or tape for your bondage fantasy, there is no reason not to have a pair of safety scissors on hand, and at a cost of around $4 or $5 for a pair of safety scissors, there is no reason an emergency should arise that would require you to use regular scissors or a knife.


Other Safety Basics

Never use Duct Tape
Duct tape, masking tape, medical tape, black tape, or any other kind of tape will stick to a person's skin. There is bondage tape made especially for using on a persons skin.  Bondage tape is a No Stick tape that holds to itself. It will hold to itself securely, yet it is easily removed from the skin.  The main thing to be careful about when using bondage tape is that you don't wrap it too tightly, especially around someone's wrists.  Bondage tape is kinky and fairly cheap, about  $8 for 30 feet.  Some types of tape and vinyl ribbon can be reused, but bondage tape is typically cut off rather than removed and used again.

Stay With Your Sub at All Times
When someone is restrained, they must never be left alone. The active partner must make sure the restrained person is comfortable and breathing properly. If rope is used, make sure that nothing is cutting off their circulation.

Don't Drink and Bind
Alcohol and drugs can cause you to seriously underestimate safety risks. Intelligent people that are experienced in BDSM NEVER play bondage games while intoxicated or under the influence of drugs. Follow their example.


BDSM and bondage play is fun, but even the most innocent short-cut can be dangerous, and sometimes fatal.  Pain can be stimulating... as long as it's the right kind.  Don't risk your or your partner's safety, health or even their life by trying to save a buck.

Rope Bondage   While it might be great for foreplay, as kinky as elaborate rope bondage may look, it usually isn't very practical for having sex.   Access to your partner's body and having sex is much easier if your partner is fully nude.  You will still have to use extreme caution when maneuvering your partner onto their side or into other positions since they can't use their hands for support if they fall.  This is true as well if you secure your partners wrists behind their back with cuff and don't remove the cuffs when you want to move your partner into different positions.   Rope bondage isn't quick.  It takes time to get all of the ropes in place, and to remove them later.   Combining wrist and ankle cuffs with rope is a good idea.  The cuffs make it easy to secure your partner while the rope provides an easy way to secure the cuffs to a stationary object.

Rope bondage is so popular that it bears talking about above and beyond the safety factors that need to be considered.

Putting aside any risks associated with rope bondage, we have nothing against couples that enjoy rope bondage.  In fact, if you can put aside a weekend, or even a day where you have the time to spend playing out an all-day bondage scene, we suggest trying it.  Just be sure to use extreme caution if it's your first time experimenting with rope bondage.



Why is rope bondage so popular?

Rope bondage is so popular that it bears talking about above and beyond the safety factors that need to be considered.

If you look through the bondage galleries, BDSM movies and fetish videos, you will notice that about 99% of all bondage images involves rope bondage.  Of those, about 90% show the woman in a position that would either be incredibly difficult or impossible to have sex in.

Why? Because with the possible exception of women secured in some type of fairly elaborate bondage contraptions, rope bondage has more visual impact, or higher 'kink factor' than most other bondage images.

Seeing a woman's wrists and ankles bound with a set of wrist cuffs or ankle cuffs may be kinky, but seeing her arms, legs and breasts wrapped in ropes is more exciting for most people.

While seeing a woman or young girl restrained in a series of ropes or an elaborate rope harness or Shabari Hogtie may be impressive to look at, most couples prefer to use wrist and ankle cuffs with quick release latches for their bondage play.

Couples that have tried bondage using ropes and using cuffs and have found out that using cuffs has one big advantage over rope; Cuffs are quicker and easier to put on and take off.

Since most couples use bondage as foreplay rather than playing out a day-long BDSM scene, the fact the cuffs are quicker to put on and take off than rope makes it easier for the person being bound to change positions, both during the bondage foreplay, and when having sex.

If you have your partner tied to the bed on their back with ropes securing their ankles and wrist, and you want to move them onto their knees, you have to untie the ropes, move them into the new position, then tie them up again, this can take ten to fifteen minutes or more depending on how elaborate the ropes are tied.

With a set of wrist and ankle cuffs latched to an eye bolt, a chain, or even a rope that has a metal ring attached to it, you un-latch the cuffs, move them into the new position, then then latch the cuffs back in place. The whole process takes about two minutes.

Another advantage couples have found to using cuffs over rope is the fact that having sex with a person tied up in some positions is either extremely difficult, or impossible.

Just like some of the positions you see people having sex in in a porno movie, many of the positions you see people tied up in on bondage galleries are for visual effect.

When you watch a porno movie and a male actor is fucking a female actor, the audience wants to see the penetration, so the camera needs to see the his cock moving in and out of her pussy. We know that in real life, we aren't going to be keeping that much distance between us when we're having sex. The same thing applies to many of the bondage images you see. It's not uncommon to see an image of a girl tied up in an elaborate position, then be in a different position in the next shot when she's giving someone a blowjob or getting fucked. What you don't see is the time it took to untie the girl, put her in the new position, then tie her up again for the next shot.

The images at top right shows women tied in ropes that would be pretty common for most couples that enjoy rope bondage. There is no dungeon, no suspension equipment, and no elaborate contraptions used.  In the top image you can see that there is easy access to the woman's breasts for some nipple play, but it would be difficult to pull her pants down enough to expose her pussy and ass enough to even masturbate her, let alone have sex with her.  In the image second from the top where the woman is completely nude, you can see that you have much easier access to her entire body, but unless the ropes are removed, the positions for having sex are limited to her being on her side or moved into a doggy style position.  Even then she is going to need to be moved so that her upper body is resting on a stable surface since she can't use her hands for support.

Of course, with her legs tied together at the knees there's no doubt her pussy is going to be tighter than with her legs spread.  Definitely kinky, but it can be very limiting as well since deep penetration may not be possible.

While using ropes and cuffs together may not have the same visual appeal for some people, it is a good way to add rope to your bondage play and still have the convenience of using cuffs.  You can use cuffs on the wrists and ankles, then attach the quick release latches to loops or hitches in the rope.  The rope can then be used to secure your partner to a fixed object, or even used to put him or her in some interesting, unique and even precarious positions without having to worry about not being able to relese them quickly.


As we said earlier, we have nothing against rope bondage.  In addition to costing less than bondage cuffs, many people simply prefer the visual appeal that rope has, and many people prefer the feeling of being tied up rather than cuffed.

Unfortunately, too many couples that are just starting out with bondage don't realize that rope bondage does require more time, skill, and precautions than using cuffs.  It is because of these reasons that we caution against couples that are new to bondage starting out with ropes and we recommend they start with cuffs and move on to ropes once they become more experienced and more comfortable in their bondage play.